We Broke Up.....

Hi

So I went on the date and since I last updated you, I went on two other dates after that and today I decided to call it all off

I wasn't happy with the relationship

I wasn't happy on how I was treated

I just wasn't happy

And I am scared people are going to hate me because of it

But now I have ended it, I feel free

That sounds really creepy

Anyway

I know breakups are hard

But I don't really know how to feel if I am truly honest

My friends support me and my best friend understands why we broke up

But I feel happy now

In good news I finally finished Girl Online and I can't wait for the next one

But I have started reading a new book called "FanGirl" and I am sure when I go to university that the girl in the book will be me

Anyway it was my birthday on the 28th and I went bowling with my friends and I have a brilliant time, although I was sick in the morning

Anyway

Thanks

YouTube Girl x

The Date

Hi guys

So this is going so awkward for me to tell you

but

i have my first date tomorrow and let me tell you, i am so scared

I have never been on a date, even thought i was in a relationship for about 3 months but it was long distance but we never saw each other, not once

But the person i am going on a date with hasn't properly asked me out yet

To ask me on a date they gave me a little sheet of paper and it said "We have been together for quite some time so i thought it was time i shout ask you out for our first date on Saturday" or something like that and this was on Wednesday

I am really nervous because tomorrow i also have to go to the optitions and i know most people go to the optitions when they are like a baby and go like once a year but i have never been and i am freaking out and then i am going on my date at 12 or 12:30pm as we are not sure what time my optitions appointment is then i am going to sleep at my friends tomorrow night

I have a very busy day tomorrow

All my friends know about my date and they fully support me

Sorry i know this is boring talking about my life like this, i just find this blog a way to release stress and my feelings

Non of my friends know about this blog or my twitter

Wish me luck for my date tomorrow

Thanks

YouTube Girl x

Fears

Hey guys

So I have been reading Girl Online (Zoella's book) and I am up to page 113

And it has really inspired me to share my fears

So today in school I was told in my English class that in the building where we have science that there was problem with the fire alarm and this panicked me

I have a fear of Fire Alarms

I have looked it up and no one has a certain name for my phobia

This is what I have learned from looking it up

All kids have a fear of loud noises when they are younger but the fear goes away the older we get, the is only a very small amount of kids who don't grow out of it and have a fear of loud noises

That just happens to be me

I have a fear of fire because something set fire in !my house and I think I blamed myself I went to a councilor and everything

I just can't get over this fear and some people call me childish but they don't understand it because they don't have that problem

If a loud noise goes off like a fire alarm I have like a panic attack, I can't breath and I have to hold onto someone because they can get me out of there.

I learnt in pyscology that a phobia is a mental illness

I have many other fears as well but this is my worst and I don't know how to get over it

In my science lesson today I wouldn't sit down because I was scared it was going to go off but it didn't, so I got told off by the teacher when they finally showed up.

Please share your fears with me it might help me feel better about mine, it really scares me

Co!sent your fear and how you plan to get over it ( if you can) and I mighty be able to help you

Thanks

YouTube Girl x

YouTubers And Friends

Hey guys

Have you heard Joe Sugg is bringing a book out?

Alfie Deyes is bringing his second book out

I am still reading Zoella's Girl Online and I am still no further

I brought Tanya Burr's book

Shane Dawson (American YouTuber, if you don't know who he is you need to go and watch his videos) has brought out a book

I love books and I love Youtubers but I don't have time to read there books I really wish I did

But I don't

OK this blog is like going no where

On Saturday it is valentine's day and my friend said "I can't wait to see all the depressing Snapchats that you put on, on Saturday"

I got really annoyed at that because yes I am single and I probably will but I don't really care

Today in one of my classes she wrote my name and "loves .........." And of someone sees it I am dead, it will ruin my hole life

I told her if she didn't scribble it out I would kill her

She is a pain in the backside some times

But that's what friends are

Sorry this has been really boring

See you soon

YouTube Girl x

Pretending

Hey guys

So I just wanted to talk to you about pretending

So this girl I know pretended to be Zayn Malik and I believed her for a long time

But now I know and you are probably thinking "she is so stupid" well it was very real

I felt like he was the only one who cared for me at the time

Now she is trying to bring 'Zayn' back into my life and it gave me heart break when I found out he wasn't real but i don't know do I want her to pretend to be him?

Do I need it in my life?

I'm scared that I will become attached again

She said that 'Zayn' misses me

I showed all my friends what she said to me pretending to be him and I feel sick to my stomach

I really don't know what to do

I miss talking to someone like that but I know it wasn't real

I sound really stupid

And you will probably laugh

If you have had anything like what I am going threw please comment and tell me I need to know what to do

See you soon

YouTube Girl x

Going To London

Hey guys

So I have wanted to go to London for a long time and I am finally going

I am going with my Nana and I might be taking my friend with me if she can afford it but I don't know

I want to go to Madam Tussaud's (I don't think I have spelt that right) because I want to go and see the One Direction wax figures and take pictures with them

My Nana ( my dad's half sister) wants to go because she wants to see the figures and because she wants to get a picture with Zayn because he is her favourite member of One Direction

I want a picture with all of them but mostly Niall

I am really excited

I am hopefully going in April because that is the holiday i want to go in

Apparently February has always been the worst month, that's when it snows all the time and we could get stuck

So I decided that it would be easier to go in April

After that in may I wm going to see The Vamps I also can't wait for that

I got my selfie stick that I ordered from China today, I have been waiting like 3 weeks

Basically that is a little update of what I have been doing

See you soon

YouTube Girl x

Sad Blog....(sort of, well the first part is definatly)

Hey guys

So today I am writing a sad blog about self-harm and stuff like that

Well where do I start

Some of my friends self-harm

I am not going to reveal there names because that would be wrong and if they read this then I would be in trouble and then they would hate me

They do it because they thought it was the only way out

One of my friends did it because a rumour was going around school about her and she thought there was only one way out and that was it, it wasn't bad but she did it a little bit and when I saw her I supported her but lectured her until she swore she would never do it again

My other friend does it and well, I know all about it because I told her I am here for her and I support her, I wish I could tell you why she does it, I know why but the thing is it is really complicated

I get really worried about her some times but I guess that is because I care

Also I want to talk about self-esteem

I have a very low self-esteem because everyone calls me fat and every time someone does that my self-esteem goes down even more

Now I know you don't know what I look like but I look like the type of person who sits at home on there computer all the time because they don't really have a life

A lot of my friends go out of a Saturday but I don't really because I can't afford to go out every weekend because it is just me and my dad at home

My friends also have other friends  and I don't really like them

I am not really confident with other people, I am well socially awkward, I don't really like the outside world

I am in something that Danisnotonfire (Dan Howell) might call a existential crisis, I might be talking to my friend and I will explain it like twice and she won't get it I will go into one of my existential Crisis modes and lay on the floor in my kitchen.

This is one of my favourite phrase that I say to my friend after explaining to many times and also two pictures of what I am like in existential crisis mode.

See you soon

YouTube Girl x

Just About Me.....sort of

Hi guys

So you can comment on this, knew it!

So ask you can see the page ground of my page is now purple because it is my favourtie colour

I am a Directioner, my favourtie band members are Niall Horan and Zayn Malik, i just can't decide

I am doing this because i was inspired by Zoella as i said in my last post and also because i can say what i truly feel when i can't in the real world

I am really honest with people and maybe to sarcastic

I don't really have much self-confidence

I feel like I am fat because everyone tells me I am

So this is my way of telling the world how I feel

Don't forget to follow me on Twitter - @YouTubeGirl2807

Joking, joking

No seriously go and follow me on twitter for updates on when I blog

I could do blogs about anything really, if I know about it that is

I have had an annoying day today

My Psychology teacher told me on my own to get all the folders out and hand them out and then asked me to take them back at the end of the lesson

My friend helped me a bit but she grabbed like four folders and then gave up

My best friend wasn't at school today because she had stomach pains, I missed her

This is really off topic......

What can I talk about?

I don't know how much I will blog because I am really into this at the minute

So yeah....

Is it bad if I blog to much in one night?

Oh I'm British by the way

I really need some ideas on what I can blog about

I will just leave this here because I am just rambling on

See You Soon

YouTube Girl x

Hello.....

Hi, Hey, Hello, Hola

However you want to say hey

Well my name is......well i'm not going to say who i am because i don't really want people to know who i am

My favourtie songs at the minute is Where Do Broken Hearts Go by One Direction and Stockholm Syndrome by One Direction

I just love them

So how to introduce myself well i'm 14 years old

I love Youtube

My favourtie Youtubers are Dan Howell (Danisnotonfire), Phil Lester (A
mazing Phil), Joe sugg, Marcus Butler, Sawyer Hartman and so many others

My cousins sing on Youtube and i have made a few Youtube videos so i guess you could say it runs in my family

I have a boxer dog, i love animals

Now for the sad part

My mum died in 2010 when i was 10

Some of my friends self-harm and i do my best to help them

I have always said to people i am your personal diary and you can always talk to me

I guess i am doing this because i was inspired by Zoella's book Girl Online which i love by the way , i brought it and i can now not put it down it is amazing

So i guess that is really what i wanted to say

There isn't really going to be many people reading this i can tell, if anyone

I don't really know how this works

Can you comment on this thing?

My friend used to write blogs but she stopped for some reason like she stopped writing stories on wattpad

I also love going on wattpad there is so many amazing stories on there

So yeah

See you soon

YouTube Girl x