Hello Once Again...

Hi!

So I really am doing these yearly, aren't I?

From what you last heard from me, I had just been messed about in a relationship buy someone that I really cared about

Well that continued

I was actually foolish enough to think, that they would care about me

But they didn't

So the last time, we was together was February 2018

I think, don't hold me to it!

But this time, I said I no longer wanted to be messed about and I expressed my feelings about how annoyed I was

And they got on the defensive, so I gave up with it!

But currently my ex has got with my best friends ex...

Yes I know what you are thinking

It is a bit insane

But they was both crappy in the relationships with me and my best friend

So they will get what is coming to them, as they are perfect for one another!

I have tried to get with other people, but I currently feel like I am the problem

Like there is something wrong with

Just teenage problems really!

The last you heard about my college course, I was really enjoying it because I had made new friends and that I was really enjoying my lecturers

Well me and my friends have been on and off at the minute and I personally think that is just me over reacting but the way they speak to me sometimes hurts

And the lecturers?

Well as I went onto the second year of my college course, they got switched around

So the lecturer, that is amazing, I hardly see because she didn't take our practical group

But she took everyone else's

So we get the new practical lesson lecturer and she isn't as funny or understanding

Especially with my phobia of the unpradicableness of snakes

But that story is for another time

Until the next post

YouTube Girl x

A Life Update

Hi Guys!

So it's been a while hasn't it?

Since the last time I spoke to you, things have definatly changed!

Me and the person that I was in a relationship ship with broke up in Summer 2016, which was very sad on both parts but mutual

We just wasn't right for each other anymore

But we are still friends :)

After that, I got in a new relationship and I was very happy with the person who I was with

Was being the underlying word...

The person I started going out with was a very close friend of mine and I really did love them but they broke up with me numerous times and broke my heart over and over again

So as of February 2017 I have been single

But I started a new college course at a university and I had to make all new friends to find someone else that I now like but I can't tell them because they are having problems of their own and I don't want to pile it on them

So here I am again, sat in the friendzone

But my life has changed a lot since I started at my new college because I have a set of all new friends instead of the ones that where dragging me back from my other college

I love my lecturers and I actually feel like I am going to do well in my course

And that is it for now

Until the next post

YouTube Girl x

My Relationship Status

HI GUYS!

It has been so long since I posted

Anyway as you know me and my past relationship broke up in July of 2015

But now......

I am in a new relationship

It is practically perfect, we like the same things and we are practically the same person

I can really see a future between us

We are spending my birthday together with my friend (hope they don't ruin the moment) and then we are going on a date the next to Pizza express

I haven't had pizza in ages

Because i'm on a diet, I want to get a nice dress for prom and the only way to do that is lose weight

So that's what i'm doing and so far I have lost 20.5 pounds in weight nearly a stone and a half

I brought Girl Online On Tour but I haven't read much of it yet and I think I should to be honest and I finished FanGirl

It was soooooo good I advise you read it if your a fangirl like me who likes writing fanfiction

So anyways....

Until my next post

YouTube Girl x

We Broke Up.....

Hi

So I went on the date and since I last updated you, I went on two other dates after that and today I decided to call it all off

I wasn't happy with the relationship

I wasn't happy on how I was treated

I just wasn't happy

And I am scared people are going to hate me because of it

But now I have ended it, I feel free

That sounds really creepy

Anyway

I know breakups are hard

But I don't really know how to feel if I am truly honest

My friends support me and my best friend understands why we broke up

But I feel happy now

In good news I finally finished Girl Online and I can't wait for the next one

But I have started reading a new book called "FanGirl" and I am sure when I go to university that the girl in the book will be me

Anyway it was my birthday on the 28th and I went bowling with my friends and I have a brilliant time, although I was sick in the morning

Anyway

Thanks

YouTube Girl x

The Date

Hi guys

So this is going so awkward for me to tell you

but

i have my first date tomorrow and let me tell you, i am so scared

I have never been on a date, even thought i was in a relationship for about 3 months but it was long distance but we never saw each other, not once

But the person i am going on a date with hasn't properly asked me out yet

To ask me on a date they gave me a little sheet of paper and it said "We have been together for quite some time so i thought it was time i shout ask you out for our first date on Saturday" or something like that and this was on Wednesday

I am really nervous because tomorrow i also have to go to the optitions and i know most people go to the optitions when they are like a baby and go like once a year but i have never been and i am freaking out and then i am going on my date at 12 or 12:30pm as we are not sure what time my optitions appointment is then i am going to sleep at my friends tomorrow night

I have a very busy day tomorrow

All my friends know about my date and they fully support me

Sorry i know this is boring talking about my life like this, i just find this blog a way to release stress and my feelings

Non of my friends know about this blog or my twitter

Wish me luck for my date tomorrow

Thanks

YouTube Girl x

Fears

Hey guys

So I have been reading Girl Online (Zoella's book) and I am up to page 113

And it has really inspired me to share my fears

So today in school I was told in my English class that in the building where we have science that there was problem with the fire alarm and this panicked me

I have a fear of Fire Alarms

I have looked it up and no one has a certain name for my phobia

This is what I have learned from looking it up

All kids have a fear of loud noises when they are younger but the fear goes away the older we get, the is only a very small amount of kids who don't grow out of it and have a fear of loud noises

That just happens to be me

I have a fear of fire because something set fire in !my house and I think I blamed myself I went to a councilor and everything

I just can't get over this fear and some people call me childish but they don't understand it because they don't have that problem

If a loud noise goes off like a fire alarm I have like a panic attack, I can't breath and I have to hold onto someone because they can get me out of there.

I learnt in pyscology that a phobia is a mental illness

I have many other fears as well but this is my worst and I don't know how to get over it

In my science lesson today I wouldn't sit down because I was scared it was going to go off but it didn't, so I got told off by the teacher when they finally showed up.

Please share your fears with me it might help me feel better about mine, it really scares me

Co!sent your fear and how you plan to get over it ( if you can) and I mighty be able to help you

Thanks

YouTube Girl x

YouTubers And Friends

Hey guys

Have you heard Joe Sugg is bringing a book out?

Alfie Deyes is bringing his second book out

I am still reading Zoella's Girl Online and I am still no further

I brought Tanya Burr's book

Shane Dawson (American YouTuber, if you don't know who he is you need to go and watch his videos) has brought out a book

I love books and I love Youtubers but I don't have time to read there books I really wish I did

But I don't

OK this blog is like going no where

On Saturday it is valentine's day and my friend said "I can't wait to see all the depressing Snapchats that you put on, on Saturday"

I got really annoyed at that because yes I am single and I probably will but I don't really care

Today in one of my classes she wrote my name and "loves .........." And of someone sees it I am dead, it will ruin my hole life

I told her if she didn't scribble it out I would kill her

She is a pain in the backside some times

But that's what friends are

Sorry this has been really boring

See you soon

YouTube Girl x